The Smurfs
2011 comedy movie directed by Raja Gosnell
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Gargamel: Must... have... SMURFS!
(jumps through the portal) -
Grouchy: Where the Smurf are we?
Gutsy: Up the smurfin' creek without a paddle, that's where! -
(Gargamel gets hit by a bus)
Azrael: Are you dead?
(snickers) -
(seeing New York City for the first time)
Smurfette: Oh... my... Smurf. - Smurfette: Hey guys! How do you like my new dress?
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Odile: The whole world will know the name that is Garbagesmell!
Gargamel: Gargamel. - Papa: I'm 546 years old... I'm getting too old for this.
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Gargamel: Oh, Azrael, we've come so far, yet I am haunted by the same familiar problem: how to find the Smurfs. If only I had a...
(Azrael hacks and coughs)
Gargamel: I'm sorry, is my thinking interrupting your vile habit? If only I had something of theirs: a drop of spittle, a fingernail, some hair even, then I could use my magic to hunt them down!
(Azrael coughs out a hairball)
Gargamel: Very nice. Are you done now?
Azrael: Meow!
(points at the hairball)
Gargamel: I don't want to look at it! What? YUCK! WHAT?... Is that...? No. No, it can't be... it is! The tiny locks of Smurfette! Oh, sweet follicular ambrosia! Oh, sweet strands of joy... mixed with a fair amount of cat vomit.
(holds up the hair) -
Papa: I'm sorry, Master Winslow, but we badly need to borrow your stargazer.
Patrick Winslow: I don't have a stargazer, okay? It's not something people of this century just have, especially here.
Grouchy: Not happy.
Patrick Winslow: Now if you excuse me, I have to work.
Papa: Well, perhaps we can sing to help things along. And then we'll get the stargazer. Come along, Smurfs.
(La la la la la la Sing, a happy song La la la la la la Smurf the whole day long)
Patrick Winslow: Stop. Stop! Come on. None of you find that song just the tiniest bit annoying?
Grouchy: I find it annoying.
Papa: Well, what do you sing at work?
Patrick Winslow: I don't sing at work.
Smurfette: (gasps) What?
Gutsy: And you have to wear a leash. Harsh.
Smurfette: I know. How about if we hum?
(they begin humming the song)
Patrick Winslow: Please stop humming. -
Gargamel: (Waking up from Azrael licking his face) Smurfs... Smurfs...
(to Azrael)
Gargamel: I wish I could quit you. Get out of here.
(Notices the fourth wall)
Gargamel: What are you looking at? -
(Gargamel looks for a laboratory in New York City)
Gargamel: (climbs into a port-a-potty) Oh. Yes. It's a bit small, but it should do nicely! Oh, it's even got its own cauldron.
(tries some magic, and screams... )
Gargamel: What died in here? OPEN! OPEN! OPEN! OPEN! OPEN! OPPEEENNNN!
(finally falls out)
Gargamel: Somebody's been working a dark and terrible magic in there. -
Patrick Winslow: SMURF, SMURF, SMURFETY, SMURF!
(all the Smurfs are shocked)
Gutsy: There is no call for that sort of language, laddie! -
Clumsy: Just because your name IS Grouchy, doesn't mean you always have to BE grouchy.
Grouchy: Yeah. It does. -
(first lines)
Narrator Smurf: There is a place. A place that knows no sadness, where even feeling blue is a happy thing. A place inhabited by little blue beings three apples high. It lies deep within an enchanted forest, hidden away beyond the medieval village. Most people believe this place is made up, only to be found in books or children's imagination. Well, we beg to differ. -
Gutsy: I'll not soon forget this place. Especially not with these!
(shows he has "I love NY" sequined on his backside) -
Gargamel: Smurfs... Smurfs... I wish I could be rid of you, and out of here...
(notices the fourth wall)
Gargamel: What are you looking at?
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Odile: Garbage Man!
Gargamel: It's Gargamel.
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Grouchy: (about to leave New York) I hated it... so much less than I expected.
Patrick Winslow: Bye, Grouchy.
Grouchy: Don't get me wrong, I still hate it here!
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Papa: Well, Master Winslow, thank you. You saved my whole family.
Patrick Winslow: Actually, I think it was the other way around.
Papa: Well, I should get going. I've got a Smurf village to rebuild. Your village has given me some ideas...
(Patrick and Papa Smurf hug)
Patrick Winslow: Goodbye, Papa.
Papa: Goodbye... papa.
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Grace Winslow: High four.
Smurfette: High four.
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Gutsy: I'll not soon forget this place. Especially not with these!
(shows he has "I love NY" sequined on his backside)
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Grace Winslow: (as she uses her purse to hit Azrael on the side) You bad kitty!
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Gutsy: NO Smurf gets left behind!
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Clumsy: Just because your name IS Grouchy, doesn't mean you always have to BE grouchy.
Grouchy: Yeah. It does.