Quotes

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  • Oh: (on Cain killing Abel) You were holding a rock and he ran into it with his face repeatedly until he just couldn't pull through.
  • (from trailer) Zed: (pointing to wheels) What are these big, round things for? Cain: They're wheels, numbskull. They make the cart roll. (Zed and Oh are riding on the cart, with their arms in the air) Oh: I feel like a bird!
  • Zed: Can I see you later? Maya: I think I have to wash my hair. Zed: You washed your hair last year.
  • Oh: I just want to lay with her so badly. Zed: I don't see it. I mean she's cute, but I don't think I'd lay with her. Oh: She's your sister. I mean, it would be like laying with your mother. Zed: Which was a *big* mistake, I see that now.
  • Marlak: Stay away from my woman. Zed: Not gonna be possible, Marlak. She's not your woman. You can't own people. Except for the guy who bought all of us. Apparently, he can.
  • Maya: When my parents were killed by that pack of wild dogs, you really helped me see the funny side. Zed: (imitating dogs barking) "No, no! He's got my ankle!"
  • (last lines) Zed: To the north! Maya: You know that that's west. Zed: Mmm hmm, yeah, I was just checking to see if you knew. To the west! (under his breath) Zed: I'm already glad you're here.
  • (from trailer) (Zed has eaten an apple from the 'Tree of Knowledge') Zed: I might know everything. Ask me something! Oh: Where does the sun go at night? Zed: Pass. Next question. Oh: Where do babies come from? Zed: Pass. Next question. Oh: (noticing a snake) There's a snake on my foot. Zed: In the form of a question! Oh: (scared) There's a snake on my foot? Zed: Correct!
  • Zed: I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. All my brain blood was in my boner.
  • Princess Inanna: Come! Come quick! Zed: That won't be a problem. Zed: What are we doing here? Princess Inanna: I want you to enter the Holiest of Holies. Zed: Oh, that's quite a coincidence, because I want you to sit on the Poliest of Polies.
  • Oh: If we never ever see you again, it's not because we are avoiding you!
  • Oh: I'm a virgin by choice. Zed: Ha! Not *your* choice!
  • King: How did you become high priest? High Priest: I'm your brother-in-law.
  • (from trailer) (a hunter knocks a bowl of berries out of Oh's hand) Oh: Well, there won't be any berries in the fruit salad now, so we all lose.
  • Oh: If we never ever see you again, it's not because we are avoiding you!
  • Oh: I'm a virgin by choice.
    Zed: Ha! Not *your* choice!
  • Cain: What transpires within the confines of the walls of Sodom, stays within the confines of the walls of Sodom.
  • (from trailer)
    (Zed has eaten an apple from the 'Tree of Knowledge')
    Zed: I might know everything. Ask me something!
    Oh: Where does the sun go at night?
    Zed: Pass. Next question.
    Oh: Where do babies come from?
    Zed: Pass. Next question.
    Oh: (noticing a snake) There's a snake on my foot.
    Zed: In the form of a question!
    Oh: (scared) There's a snake on my foot?
    Zed: Correct!
  • Zed: It seems like a waste of a perfectly good virgin to me...
    Pedestrian Villager: He guys, I'm trying to enjoy a sacrifice with my family. Do you mind? Do you mind?
  • (last lines)
    Zed: To the north!
    Maya: You know that that's west.
    Zed: Mmm hmm, yeah, I was just checking to see if you knew. To the west!
    (under his breath)
    Zed: I'm already glad you're here.
  • Zed: (Abraham draws back with the knife, about to stab Isaac) STOP! What are you doin' with that kid?
    Abraham: (Abraham freezes, with the knife still held high) ... Nothing.
    Zed: Nothing?
    Abraham: This is my son, sir. We were playing a game, alright? It's called... "Burny Burny Cut Cut".
  • Zed: Hey, I'm peeing on my face too... on the inside!
  • (from trailer)
    (a hunter knocks a bowl of berries out of Oh's hand)
    Oh: Well, there won't be any berries in the fruit salad now, so we all lose.
  • (from trailer)
    Zed: (pointing to wheels) What are these big, round things for?
    Cain: They're wheels, numbskull. They make the cart roll.
    (Zed and Oh are riding on the cart, with their arms in the air)
    Oh: I feel like a bird!
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