Peter Marshall: Will humming help your tennis game? Florence Henderson: Will humming help my tennis game? Sure, why not? It takes your mind off your balls, or something.
Peter Marshall: According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons? Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly.
Peter Marshall: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it? Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.
Peter Marshall: Charley, how many balls are on a pool table in a standard game of 8-ball? Charley Weaver: How many men are on the table?
(Big Bird is picked and turns out to be the Secret Square) Peter Marshall: Did you ever dream that one day you'd be worth 94 hundred dollars? Big Bird: Gosh! I was excited about 63 cents!
Peter Marshall: True or false, on a recent talk show, Joey Heatherton said, "I am not a sexpot." Jan Murray: She's right, Pete, but you're a damn good emcee.
Peter Marshall: According to a recent medical study, sex can be harmful to a certain part of the body. Which part? Jan Murray: I'm sorry, what? I couldn't hear the question. A little louder, please? Peter Marshall: According to a recent medical study, sex can be harmful to a certain part of the body... Jan Murray: Six? Six can hurt a body? Oh, SEX... I remember. I'll say the eyes because I read about it so much.
Peter Marshall: You're a 71-year-old man who has lost interest in sex. Does your doctor have anything to help you? Charley Weaver: No, but his nurse does.
Peter Marshall: What are "Do It", "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough"? George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment.
Peter Marshall: In baseball, there's a special name for the area between a player's knees and his armpits. Paul Lynde: (referring to a certain jingle) Aren't you glad? Aren't you glad? *Aren't you glad... * he used Dial?
(Sesame Street's Oscar the Grouch is the Secret Square, and the contestant wins it) Peter Marshall: Oscar, you've made a man very happy... Oscar the Grouch: I'm sorry to hear that.
Peter Marshall: Arthur Hailey had a very successful movie and novel called "Hotel". He has a new best seller about another stopover point. What is it called? Charley Weaver: Service Station.
Peter Marshall: What are "dual-purpose cattle" good for that other cattle aren't? Paul Lynde: They give milk... and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies.
Peter Marshall: In "The Wizard Of Oz", the Tin Man wanted a heart, and the Lion wanted courage. What did the Straw Man want? Paul Lynde: He wanted the Tin Man to notice him.
Peter Marshall: Your date's had a great shock, now she's fainted. According to experts you should loosen her clothing, and do one other thing. What? Paul Lynde: Send a postcard requesting an ambulance. Peter Marshall: You don't get along with this young lady obviously.
Peter Marshall: True or false, Paul - Gypsy folklore says that God created man by baking him in an oven. Paul Lynde: (turns and looks at Leslie Uggams) Looks like you were overcooked. (Leslie Uggams laughed so hard she was lying across the desk. She then she got up, walked over to Paul, smacked him on his shoulder, and walked back to her square laughing along with all the stars and the audience)
(reading of the bonus prize after player won the match) David Brenner: Here's the news, do you ride a bike? Peter Marshall: (to contestant) Do you ride a bike? (contestant nods) David Brenner: You do? Good, because in Yugoslavia your prize would be called, "Five thousand American dollars". (contestant freaks out; Marshall counts off five one-thousand-dollar bills)
(Tony Randall has just been asked a question) Tony Randall: (staring dramatically into the camera) I don't *know*. (wild audience laughter) Peter Marshall: This is a bluffing game! You're supposed to come up with a bluff if you don't know the answer, you silly twerp! Tony Randall: Well, *I'm* sorry...
Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Peter Marshall: Wally, what is the signature phrase of the cartoon character Underdog? (Cox was voice of Underdog for the duration of the cartoon's airings) Wally Cox: Where are my residuals?
Peter Marshall: Is there anything in or on your body that was there the day you were born? Rose Marie: (pointing to her head) The black bow!
Peter Marshall: True or false, every day, about 10 million American women take the pill. Paul Lynde: And I could name 'em all!
(the loud horn sounds to signify time running out on the nighttime show) Peter Marshall: Let me explain what that means... Big Bird: Big Bird: Don't look at me!
Peter Marshall: According to Ann Landers, your husband, Edgar, is talking in his sleep. Should you be upset if he talks about his secretary? Joan Rivers: And how... his secretary is a guy!