Rebecca Crosby: (watching the men play tag at an AA meeting) ... and this is why print journalism is dying
Randy: (after getting away from Hoagie) You ain't getting me today, man. I'm not losing.
Hoagie: There's only one problem, Chilli.
Randy: Oh, yeah? What's that?
Hoagie: I'm not it.
Randy: The fuck you mean, you're not it?
Callahan: (Running into frame and tackling Chilli) I AM, MUTHAFUCKA!
Jerry: Verbal amendment. That women should be playing.
Randy: Yeah, amendment.
Anna Malloy: (Realizing she is now "it.') Oh. Oh, you just made a big mistake.
Jerry: (Jerry runs away) You're it bitch!
Anna Malloy: (Anna looks around and spots Randy) You're it now! You're going down!
Randy: You're too intense!
Anna Malloy: You're gonna suck my tiny ginger balls!
Randy: Oh gross!
Anna Malloy: You're gross!
(Anna screams and tackles Randy)
Randy: (to Jerry) Yeah, you're really good at tag.
Hoagie: Yes, but you've kind of missed the point. I mean, it's not about trying to get away from each other. It's actually about having a reason to be around each other. You know?
Jerry: (Quietly) Yeah.
Hoagie: I mean, Ben Franklin said it best. Am I right? "We don't stop playing because we grow old."
Hoagie, Randy, Callahan, Anna Malloy: "We grow old because we stop playing.""
Sable: How come "bi-weekly" means both twice a week and every other week?
Sable: That's mad confusing and it's just linguistically lazy.
Callahan: (as Jerry is slapped while singing over the closing credits) You're it!
(Runs out of frame)
Rebecca Crosby: What do you think they are talking about?
Sable: Off the record?
Rebecca Crosby: Sure, sure
Sable: No idea!
Anna Malloy: Suck my tiny ginger balls!
Sable: What's the difference between Episcopalian and Lutheran?
Randy: Episcopalians don't eat fish.
Sable: That's... pescatarian, that's... not a religion.
Randy: They're all fanatics, I don't know.
Jerry: Never been tagged. Just sayin'.
Hoagie: Synchronize your watches.
Callahan: I don't know how to do that.
Randy: I don't have a watch.
Sable: Time is a construct.
Hoagie: We lose! He beat us! The game is over!
Randy: (from trailer, at Hoagie's father's funeral) I think your dad would have really wanted you to be...
Randy: ... it.