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  • I don't understand why people don't have a fucking sense of humor. Always assume that I'm being sarcastic.
  • I don't hang out in strip clubs so much anymore. But when I just turned 18, and dare I say, before 18, it was just my thing. I was just so happy to be doing something I knew my mom would die if she knew where I was. I was going through that stage. I would go with my girlfriends. It was a really fun and loose environment. There's one strip club in L.A. that I would go to called 'The Body Shop.' I was obsessed with it, and I'm in love with Motley Crue because Vince Neil sings about it in 'Girls, Girls, Girls.' I would go there and think, 'Oh my God, Vince Neil and Tommy Lee would come here! It's so amazing!' I don't do that anymore. But every once in a while I don't mind going out with some guys and hanging at a strip club.
  • If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it's like-you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.
  • I wouldn't regret (my "Brian" tattoo) if we weren't together. I can always have a kid and name him Brian. There are options.
  • I am pretty sure I am a doppelganger for Alan Alda. I'm a tranny. I'm a man. I'm so painfully insecure. I'm on the verge of vomiting now. I am so horrified that I am here, and embarrassed. I'm scared," – Red carpet interview at the Golden Globes, 2009
  • Maybe, you know, (my next role can be) something that's more of a character piece that doesn't involve a leather motorcycle outfit
  • I would love to do a movie naked; it would be beautiful. No one dares make that kind of film today. They did it in the 1930s in an arty way, so why not now?
  • I've done one movie. And it's not a movie I want to stand on as far as acting ability goes. I mean, I'm not going to win an Oscar anytime soon. I'm not Meryl Streep.
  • It pisses me when people fucking complain that I'm too beautiful to get this part. That's bullshit. You wouldn't be working if you weren't attractive. Hollywood is the most superficial thing you could possibly be a part of. And if I weren't attractive I wouldn't be working at all.
  • Oh my God! Screen kissing is fucking gross. This one kid I had to kiss had just eaten. And he passed a piece of whatever it was into my mouth. Not on purpose, like it was in his tooth or something. And it was really salty. I almost cried. I was a bitch for the rest of the day
  • If I show up and give any sort of performance at all, even a mediocre one, everyone will walk away going, ‘Holy shit! Megan did a great job in that movie!' So I'm an overachiever just by default because of the category I've been put in
  • We actors are kind of prostitutes. We get paid to feign attraction and love. Other people are paying to watch us kissing someone, touching someone, doing things people in a normal monogamous relationship would never do with anyone who's not their partner. It's really kind of gross.
  • I used to sit back and think, 'Please, Britney Spears has the best life ever—she has everything she could ever want!' But she has one of the worst lives. Her life is a living fucking nightmare. I have panic attacks thinking about her life
  • That was taken out of context. It made it sound like I was suggesting she's pretentious. She's clearly book-smart and she allows people to see that every time she opens her mouth. And I was suggesting that for me to do that - people would receive it as though I was being pretentious
  • I don't want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson, who I have nothing against, but I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I've ever learned to prove, like, ‘Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak
  • I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard.
  • If you know how to take control of (being a sex symbol), then it can be powerful. But I have no idea how to handle it yet, how to deal with it.
  • I think people are born bisexual and the make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society. I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But I'm also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who is bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I'd never sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.
  • I thought it was awesome (being sexualized at a young age). I was going to a Christian high school and I wasn't a feminist yet.
  • Really my only job is to look attractive. I was so angry about that, that I went in the opposite direction. I turned into a really butch bull dyke for, like, six months... Then I went in the other direction. From being a giant motorcycle-riding lesbian, I turned into a zombie. I lost, like, 30 pounds. I was like, 'I'm losing weight for the movie'. I was telling myself I was being method (method acting), which was so outrageous and ridiculous and not true.
  • Before I go onstage anywhere, I take a Xanax now
  • I've done drugs, and that's how I know I don't like them. I tried several things in order to make an informed decision, but I didn't enjoy anything other than marijuana. Cocaine is back with a vengeance, everyone in every club is doing drugs. A lot of people are on prescription drugs. Celebrities aren't trying to hide it, except where people have camera phones."
  • I hope they legalize (marijuana) and when they do I'll be the first fucking person in line to buy my pack of joints.
  • Robert (Pattinson) and Zac (Efron)—they're just too pretty, with the big hair and the suits.
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