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  • Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.
  • I'd loved to wear jeans and t-shirts, but everybody was in the peace movement back then. And that was my ploy. I had to be careful not to say things like 'I like meat.' Actually I just wanted to drink beer and to screw.
  • Back then I said to myself 'screw football.' Actually I just took part in this camp as there was nothing better for me to do. They also didn't draft me because they thought I was too wild and undisciplined.
  • I was very slender and small. All my friends were on the team, so I had to make it too. I was a very aggressive player. I wanted to be one of the best, but I just ended up as one of the good ones.
  • When I read the pilot (for "Married with Children" (1987)), it just reminded me of my Uncle Joe...just a self-deprecating kind of guy. He'd come home from work, and the wife would maybe say, 'I ran over the dog this morning in the driveway'. And he would say 'Fine, what's for dinner?'"
  • In the summer we graduated we flipped out completely, drinking beer, cruising in our cars and beating up each other. It was a crazy summer. That's when I started to be interested in girls.
  • I went to Ohio University studying arts and history, and playing football. But I was only interested in girls, my pals and sports. I only did the minimum for school.
  • Security was another reason. You never know what can happen to you when you earn a lot of money.
  • I took a plane from New York City to Los Angeles for an audition. I met all the people. After that, I was told to have another audition, but I didn't want to go there again.
  • I think I 'turn off' women. I've a kind of a weird personality. Women may think that I'm a mess.
  • I knew I was a good stage actor but I had no idea about movies. And I wasn't a Paul Newman type of guy. That's why I thought the stage is just right for me.
  • That's a big deal for kids, when they come into the kitchen and the teacher is drinking coffee with mom. They react differently on the next day when you say: 'Sit down and shut-up!'
  • All this flying around got on my nerves. But then I gave the script to Cathy to get her opinion. When she started to laugh, it was like 'That's it!'. I went to LA and I got the part.
  • When I read the pilot (for "Married with Children" (1987)), it just reminded me of my Uncle Joe...just a self-deprecating kind of guy. He'd come home from work, and the wife would maybe say, 'I ran over the dog this morning in the driveway'. And he would say 'Fine, what's for dinner?'"
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