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  • Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.
  • I'm not comfortable being around too many people. I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff. So most of the characters I play are people who don't always feel comfortable beyond their small circle of friends
  • I do love the movies I've done in the past.
  • You know, when you don't go on TV and talk about how many women you sleep with, some people in Hollywood, that are supposedly 'in the know,' start whispering that you're gay. If I were gay, I wouldn't be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not.
  • I don't know who I touch and who I don't. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don't have any secrets. I don't know the reasons I've been so well received.
  • (After getting laser eye surgery): Now I realize how ugly I am.
  • I'm pretty hot, right? Very hot, if I may say so myself. Don't you feel the sex I'm radiating?
  • I'm filthy rich! It's good to be Adam Sandler!
  • (Jokes about the timing of the birth of his daughter, Sadie): It's just weird that out of nowhere God said, 'May the three best-looking guys in Hollywood have babies - Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and me'. It was bizarre that God said, 'I want to make the planet more beautiful', and I got the call.
  • I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing "Maria" from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.
  • I sang a song at my sister's wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right.
  • You know, when you don't go on TV and talk about how many women you sleep with, some people in Hollywood, that are supposedly 'in the know,' start whispering that you're gay. If I were gay, I wouldn't be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not.
  • I'm not comfortable being around too many people.
  • I'm 31 now. I think I'm beginning to understand what life is, what romance is, and what a relationship means.
  • To be honest with you, when I got into this I never thought about reviews. I never thought about what people would say about me. I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.
  • Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl... or boy.
  • When I got into this, I never thought about reviews. I never thought about what people would say about me, I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor, and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.
  • My comedy is different every time I do it.
  • I still like doing stand-up now, but it's not the same. It used to be that I was out there with five other comedians. Now I usually just do it alone.
  • Well I have a microphone and you don't so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!
  • The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don't know if I'll ever be as good a dad as my dad.
  • Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.
  • Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!
  • I shouldn't be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.
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