Tracy Jordan: Here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age.Live every week like it's Shark Week.
Dr. Leo Spaceman: Erectile dysfunction: it's not just a dog problem anymore.
Kenneth Parcell: It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain!
Liz Lemon: (singing) I'm a star! I'm on top! Somebody bring me some ham!
Pete: Yes, Hornberger!
Tracy Jordan: Liz Lemon! I can't believe they put what you said in the paper.
Liz Lemon: Shh! How do you know about that?
(Liz looks at Tracy's newspaper)
Liz Lemon: This is a "Cathy" cartoon.
Tracy Jordan: Yeah, that cartoon copied exactly what you said the other day.
Liz Lemon: (Flashback to Liz) Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Aack!
Jack: I like you. You have the boldness of a much younger woman.
Jenna Maroney: Do you need a sex tape release? Because I've got a weird one. It's night vision and you can see that his buddy is robbing me.
Jack: Never go with a hippie to a second location.
Jenna Maroney: You look like that flashcard they told me means sadness.
Tracy Jordan: I'm whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know that in the morning, they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good.
Tracy Jordan: I am a Jedi! I am a Jedi! I am a Jedi!
Dr. Leo Spaceman: If you want the shot... you're going to have to dance for it.
Tracy Jordan: Stop eating people's old french fries, pigeon! Have some self respect! Don't you know you can fly?
Colleen Donaghy: Tell him that his mother's here. And she loves him. But not in a queer way.
Liz Lemon: I want to go to there.
Abby Flynn: I'm a very sexy baby.
Tracy Jordan: What did I tell you was the secret to having a good marriage and keeping it together, Kenneth?
Kenneth Parcell: Be a good listener, a giver of gifts and work that va-jay-jay.
Liz Lemon: Why are you wearing a tux?
Jack: It's after 6 o'clock Lemon. What am I, a farmer?
Dennis Duffy: Hey dummy.
Liz Lemon: What the what?
Jack: Factories provide three things this country desperately needs: jobs, pride, and material for Bruce Springsteen songs.
Liz Lemon: (singing) Workin' on my night cheese!
Kenneth Parcell: Science was my most favorite subject, especially the Old Testament.